Thirteenth step

My grandmother attends the church basement on Tuesday evenings. I saw him there among the metal folding chairs and antique coffee pots, his...

Go for Your Dreams and Move Past the Naysayers

By Chris Atley

It's amazing the stories we create around what someone else is doing especially when it pertains to following their dreams. I realized this recently with my son following a big dream. We've been looking at a bunch of different baseball clubs - as he has some pretty hefty dreams - and the one that is ranked the best, we've heard the worst about. We've heard they do things this way and that way over the years. Well low and behold none of it is true after looking into them thoroughly. The lesson - do your own due diligence when following your dreams and realize others are going to try to find everything wrong with it. Why is that? Because something deep inside gets triggered about us not feeling good enough about our own existence - regrets, not wanting to admit we're not quite where we want to be, etc. And this is also brought out when it's situations involving our kids! Ahhh... as if it wasn't hard enough! Please know this is nothing against any of those naysayers, because let's face it, we've all done it. I like to call it leveling. When we feel threatened, etc., we start to level other people who's good fortune we subconsciously find threatening. We start rhyming off all of the things we know and / or have done, or the worst is when we find things wrong with what they have said or done so that we can feel superior. I just caught myself recently doing this. Someone else just did it to me this week. We all have an ego that we buy into here and there (some more often than others). Let's all just realize we're enough already, that we have unique gifts and strengths, and support one another.

Read below for some tips on how to follow your dreams AND move past the naysayers!

We can only be so lucky to find a wonderful person who will support us along our journey no matter what we decide to do. This type of person is very special and is basically your personal cheerleader. They will believe in you and not judge you. They will be excited for you no matter what it means for them. This person wants you to follow your dreams and will support you no matter what. If you have more than one type of person like this in your life, you are super lucky! Surround yourself with these people when you are trying new things and taking big leaps!

But what happens when the people around you are less than thrilled with your plans?

First of all, it's important to remember that no one else is going to fully understand your dreams and aspirations because they're yours. Everyone has different dream, goals and a sense of "ideal life". So other people likely won't understand your dreams. If you're looking for reassurance from somebody else, you likely won't get it. Others may find it hard to relate to your dreams because it's not something they want for themselves, especially if it's out of the societal "norm". This doesn't mean it isn't the right path for you

Remember people are operating out of their own fear. They have an entire lifetime of experiences and their opinions come directly from those experiences. If the person you are talking to has never done anything near what you are doing, it doesn't make sense to take advice from them. You will probably receive a lot of their own fears and issues coming along with the advice.

Some people have a hard time welcoming in the new and saying good-bye to the old. These people probably like you just the way you are. They are envious of your ambition and drive for a different life. They likely feel like they will be left behind. The reality is that they might. Especially if they are negative. It's really important to surround yourself with positive people.

There's a difference between negative and sad. You will notice that some people will just be sad as you embark on something new. Maybe they won't see you as often if you're starting a new business for example, or they know the relationship is going to change. This is okay. People are entitled to their emotions and they can still be supportive of you even if they are a little sad. However, the people who are down right negative and disrespectful are the ones giving you little digs whenever they can. You know the type. These are the ones to limit time with, and if you can't then at least ignore them.

If you absolutely have to be around these negative people, know that they are doing the best with the tools they have. Bless them, wish them well and try to see what their positive intention is. It's there, you may have to dig deep, but it's there. This will help you change your perspective on them and you will be able to interact with them on a more peaceful level.

At the end of the day, know this: It's your right to follow your dreams and do what will make you happy. Remember, when you're happy you will have more to give others anyways, so everyone does in fact benefit from you doing what you love.

Article Source:  Go for Your Dreams and Move Past the Naysayers

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