Skip to main content

Using The Serenity Prayer to Cure Resentment



There is one thing that experience teaches us that mere observation cannot. Experience teaches us through changing us, and most people who are changed arrive at a decision point: will this change me for the better or will I become bitter because of what has happened to me.

At such a fork in the road do we arrive, serially throughout life. Some experiences, however, we could not only have done without, they come to shape and then define us.

Actually, all experiences shape and define. We go one way or the other; toward health or disease.
It's normal and natural to resent certain experiences; those that take us far outside the control we never would surrender. Enter the grief experience. It's why our first cataclysmic grief experience teaches us so much.

The end of my first marriage was such a time. The end of my entire world came, and a lot of that initial time I was sure that being dead would have been a better option. But God always has a purpose in grief, not that I could see it at the time, other than to have faith in believing there was a purpose.

And we have to believe to get better. If we cannot believe we're doomed into cynicism or resentment or denial, or some such tributary of hopeless self-condemnation. But we can believe. Believing there's some purpose in the grief, even if we have no clue what that is (and we won't know), is the way to arrive at an eventual hope, through faith, via continual expressions of hope.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE - IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

Turning our lives around in the way of viewing that life-shattering grief experience differently is always as quick as starting at our choice.

It's never too late to change our attitudes to things. Like the rudder on a massive ship changes its direction, our attitude changes the direction of our lives. And from a simple recommitment comes the power to create the change we desire. From a recommitment we enter the process, prepared to change in adapting to the change we resented.

We have much to gain and nothing to lose by challenging our resentment of every unpalatable experience.

WHERE THE SERENITY PRAYER FITS IN

The short version of The Serenity Prayer is commonly used in recovery, so in the present context it works well:

Lord,

1. grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change,

2. the courage to change the things I can,

3. and the wisdom to know the difference.

AMEN.

I numbered the lines for ease of working through them.

1. The experience we resent happened. We didn't want it to happen. But it did. It cannot be changed. It's our history. All we can reasonably do is accept it, and we do get there if that's our goal. So, don't give up.

2. We can change if we have the courage to change. And choosing to let something go that we hold a resentment about is something in the domain of the changeable.

3. Wisdom empowers us to do the thing that leads us away from death by going the way of life. There's wisdom in accepting experience so it's not resented and having the courage to replace resentment with hope.

Steve Wickham holds Degrees in Science, Divinity, and Counselling. Steve writes at: http://epitemnein-epitomic.blogspot.com.au/ and http://tribework.blogspot.com.au/


By

 

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Informations From: Taun17

Popular posts from this blog

Kecemburuan semacam ini

Jacey melemparkan cangkir kopi kaca, (Mug Kaca Berinsulasi Dinding Ganda Zwilling), melintasi dapur. Itu menghantam dinding yang baru dicat (Behr, Sweet Coconut Milk, M230), dan hancur menjadi triliunan kepingan. "Inilah yang telah kamu lakukan pada kami!" teriaknya, suaranya berderak karena cemburu, kuku jarinya yang terawat (Orly Cold As Ice - perawatan bernapas + warna) menusuk udara ke arah tumpukan puing-puing kaca. Blayne menundukkan kepalanya, dagu keduanya mengenai dadanya terlebih dahulu. "Maaf, sayang," gumamnya. "Maaf?! Maaf!" Dia mengambil sekotak Wheat Thins dan mengangkatnya di atas kepalanya. "Tolong jangan melempar yang lain!" Blayne memohon, berdiri dari posisi setengah duduk di bangku logam di dapur. Ini adalah bangku yang sangat tidak nyaman (Bangku Meja Grejsi dengan Bingkai Logam), tetapi Jacey menyukai cara logam itu memantulkan sinar matahari di sore hari, jadi itulah yang dia beli. Dia mencondongkan tubuh ke arahnya,...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thirteenth step

My grandmother attends the church basement on Tuesday evenings. I saw him there among the metal folding chairs and antique coffee pots, his figure trembling under the fluorescent lights that buzzed like dying insects. She wears the same powder blue pullover she was buried in, the one with pearl buttons that catch the light like little moons. Others can't see it, of course. They just feel a sudden chill as they pass by where she is, or smell the ghostly smell of her Shalimar perfume mixing with the smell of burnt coffee that never leaves these rooms. But I see clearly. He's been following me to AA meetings for three months since I got my first white chip after five years of being back in the bottle. "Your grandmother was my godmother in 1985," old Pete told me after tonight's meeting, hands shaking as he poured a seven-pack of Sweet'n Low into his coffee. "Toughest godmother I ever had. She saved my life." "Mine, too," I said, not specif...
Post a Comment
Read more

A-Z of Corporate Governance Law

Corporate governance law can be seen as the law that states the way a company is regulated and managed. Any student of law must have a clear idea about the corporate governance law. This article provides an insight into the law, along with its importance. Corporate governance law  describes how a company will be managed and governed. This topic is an important one for any student pursuing a degree in law. They may also receive academic papers to write on it. Hence, individuals should be clear about this law. The article aims at clarifying the idea behind the law and why it is important. What exactly is corporate governance law? A business is directed and controlled by the system of corporate governance. It is a process for governing a company, establishing the policies, customs, and laws for all employees, starting from the highest to the lowest levels. It states the distribution of responsibilities and rights among the various participants in a company like the di...
111 comments
Read more