When You Can't Forgive - Start Gaining Trust in Relationships

Can't forgive or having a hard time at trust in relationships? Because the human consciousness is ego-based-meaning built on fear, doubt, and judgement, it has a hard time living in the present moment, and therefore forgiveness is hard to practice.

The ego's idea of forgiveness is the language part of our consciousness that has an especially hard time living in the present moment or the now.

Consider that between the time when we forgive and the time when we actually feel as though we can trust in relationships, we seem to insert an interval.

I mean that, we are taught to forgive followed by allowing a period of time to do its work. What could this "work" possibly be, that this interval of time is intended to inspire?

In reality, all it is doing is enforcing our feeling that there is still something we need to withhold from our brother; we maintain the space that keeps us separate.

From this perception, you cannot conceive of gaining the peace or freedom you were taught that forgiveness will give you.

Therefore there is no gain, and the interval you think lies between the giving and receiving is experienced as a feeling of sacrifice and suffering, due to the anxiety that was built.

When we can't forgive it can look like this: "If I do this favor for her now, how long will it be till she reciprocates, if at all?"

This ego-based thought process has us seeing a hopeful or an eventual salvation, rather than immediate results. We are trading a perceived loss for a perceived gain some time in the unspecified future.

Let's think for a moment that Miracles mean "Time and space are an illusion which takes different forms."

We see the time as a possible "cooling off" period, or a time to "gather one's thoughts," and then, when time comes in closer, we start to see it as space. When we can't forgive the thinking seems to be, "I'm okay with her, but I just need a little space."

The space and time are seen as physical, which is all they both can be-but we think they are real and necessary in order to have trust in relationships.

The distance we feel when we can't forgive that must be kept between us is perceived as time, and keeps us external to one another.

This makes real trust in relationships impossible. We don't believe total trust in relationships can solve a problem, because fear is occupying the space we think we need and keeping us from maximizing potential.

Think about this: Will our nation, which is seen as the leader in the "free" world, ever trust so-called volatile countries to put down their nuclear weapons, as well as their research?

This leads us to think it's a little safer to be more watchful over our own interests, seen as separate.

Additionally, isn't this really the way we want it to be? It seems as though we feel we want or need this fear in order that we may feel strength.

When this happens, it is a trap, and you will never see salvation unless you can bring the idea of salvation out of the future, which is impossible.

You will always be living for future gain and never see it as immediate if you don't start perceiving it, and thus will be afraid to ever have true salvation.

If you accept this trap, you will always believe the risk of forgiveness is too great for effects that you may never see, and is why you can't forgive.

This is how the ego keeps you from trusting in Cause, by making you fear its effects.

To forgiveness

Hello Friend,

I'm James Nussbaumer and I'd like to introduce myself to you through my thought provoking spiritual and inspirational books, which are reflections of A Course in Miracles. To see more please visit me at: http://jamesnussbaumer.com/

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Article Source: When You Can't Forgive - Start Gaining Trust in Relationships