Staying in Control

Emotions are a vital part of our everyday lives. Whether you're having a good laugh over a text message or feeling frustrated in rush hour traffic, you know that the highs and lows you experience can significantly affect your well-being.

The study of emotions is not an exact science. Psychologists still debate the body-mind connection in emotional reactivity; don't have a complete taxonomy of emotions; and are even uncertain about whether emotions are the cause or result of the way we construe the world.

For example, a situation grabs our attention, which in turns leads us to appraise or think about the meaning of the situation. Our emotional responses result from the way we appraise our experiences. Some emotional responses require no particular regulation. If you tend to fly off the handle when aggravated, and express your outrage to everyone within earshot (or on the other end of an email), your emotions could be costing you important relationships, your job, and even your health.

Avoid circumstances that trigger unwanted emotions. If you know that you're most likely to get angry when you're in a hurry (and you become angry when others force you to wait), then don't leave things for the last-minute.

Modify the situation. Perhaps the emotion you're trying to reduce is disappointment. You're always hoping, for example, to serve the "perfect" meal for friends and family, but invariably something goes wrong because you've aimed too high.

Shift your attention focus. Change your thoughts. Change your response. Similarly, if you can't stop laughing when everyone else seems serious or sad, gather your inner resources and force yourself at least to change your facial expression if not your mood.

We are driven day by day by our emotions. We take chances because we're excited for new prospects. Our feelings can alter between dangerous extremes. Veer too far to the left and you're bordering on rage. These truly are the finer things in life. It is negative emotions that must be handled with extreme care. Reacting immediately to emotional triggers can be an immense mistake. Ask for divine guidance. Faith is our saving grace in our darkest moments.

Find a healthy outlet. Emotions should never be bottled up. Hearing an opinion other than your own broadens your awareness. See the bigger picture. Replace your thoughts. Forgive your emotional triggers. You may feel a sudden wave of anger when your friend "does that thing she does," or a stab of self-loathing when you remember something you could have done differently. But when you forgive, you detach from the resentment and fury that are lingering within you.

Controlling your emotions doesn't mean ignoring or repressing them but learning to process them and respond to them in healthy, helpful ways.


 By Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales


Article Source: Staying in Control