Feeling Lonely? 4 Steps to Leave Loneliness For Good

Today I felt compelled to pour my heart out to you and talk about a subject that I care so deeply about and that's loneliness. You don't need to be single to be lonely. In fact, there are literally thousands of husbands and wives who feel lonely in their marriage. As I reflect back on some of the loneliest times I have had in my life, I was surrounded by people. So if loneliness is not caused by a lack of people around you, what does cause it? My research has shown that it is either a feeling that you do not belong, being misunderstood or not feeling valued for who you are.

Loneliness often begins when there has been a breakdown in connection with your significant other or others in general. People I support after a breakup or break down in their marriage share that they don't feel seen, heard, or appreciated. It's a horrible feeling for sure. So I'm going to share the 4 steps I use to help individuals and couples leave loneliness for good...

If you have bouts of feeling lonely, these steps will help you. They work whether you are married, going through or coming out of a breakup or divorce or a "serial single" who hasn't yet met the "right" person or been able to commit.

4 Steps to Leave Loneliness

1. Stop The Negative Self-Talk.

If you ask "what's wrong with me?" "I don't belong?" "why is this happening to me?" it will bring you down. Our unconscious mind will always answer questions, so all you will get back is negative self-attacking reasons as to why. If you find it hard to stop them - read below for my free leave loneliness offer.

2. Break Emotional Habits That Keep You Isolated.

Stop the rituals that keep you even more lonely. Having worked with countless individuals to break the cycle of loneliness I discovered that like me, many people adopt practices, habits and rituals that keep them isolated. For example, I used to have an evening food ritual, where I'd stay in and comfort eat almost every night, at other times I would turn down social gatherings to watch my comfort TV shows again and again. I also must confess that during the economic crisis, feeling totally alone and in fear of losing my job - I used alcohol to feel the lonely void. Night after night, I would sit and drink on my own.

During my loneliest times, I used food, TV or alcohol to fill the emptiness I felt inside. What have you used?

The most damaging thing about emotional habits is that they keep you isolated, so the void grows bigger and you can become even more attached to your distraction vices. Creating a loneliness trap.

Others I have worked with, have fallen into patterns of oversleeping, eating, spending, working, exercising, watching porn, or using some other substance. This false replacement for connection can be lethal, so I first support individuals to free themselves from their habits, so they can work out, how they truly feel about their life, relationships and future.

Only by feeling your true emotions can you work out what you need to do to make yourself happy and only by noticing what is missing will you be motivated to change. Breaking free can be a liberating experience. At the same time, it takes courage to feel our true feelings, to actually experience any hurt, anger, disappointment, resentment that is present. That is often why we end up in the loneliness trap in the first place because painful past events have led us to isolate.

3. Connect and Reconnect

Focus on connecting with someone or something daily. This is crucial, it's actually one of the action steps I use to help people get out of depression. When we connect, we kick our loneliness to the kerb. The connection is about exchanging true feelings with someone, a heartfelt act of kindness or gratitude. You may be reading this thinking that's obvious or stupidly simple Nicola, yet so many people don't put any effort into connecting and get stuck in the loneliness trap. I know I've been there.

To leave loneliness permanently you need to connect with someone or something that gives you a sense of being valued or of oneness.

If you are in a relationship you can take steps to connect to your partner by showing love, appreciation, affection and attention. These are tools of romantic connection.

If you are single you can focus on connecting more deeply with friends and family, again give them your attention and appreciation.

If you don't feel like connecting with anyone you know, connect by doing some volunteer work for those in need.

You can also connect with god, the universe and nature. A walk along the beach or through a forest feeling the wind, sun or rain can be a beautiful way to escape the pain of loneliness.

4. Rebuilding Trust

Many people choose loneliness because it is easier than having to trust again. It can seem far safer to detach completely. Yet trust is essential to break free from the loneliness and live life fully. When I work with couples and individuals to rebuild trust, I do not ask them or suggest to, trust blindly. As it is most likely people we love will hurt us again. So I focus on helping people to build trust in themselves. To trust that they can and will cope if someone breaks their trust and hurts them. To boost self-trust, you need to focus on your self-confidence, esteem and create a balanced enjoyable life.

Nicola Beer - Relationship Expert and Founder of Save My Marriage Program

I specialise in a proven 10 step program to help couples increase the love, passion and happiness in their marriage in 30 days or less!

The program has saved hundreds of marriages... I guarantee it.

If you're stuck wondering... Can My Marriage Be Saved? take the FREE Quiz http://www.savemymarriageprogram.com/quiz

OR If your relationship is in serious trouble and you need help now - watch the 10 essential keys to stop divorce and become closer http://www.savemymarriageprogram.com/video/


 By Nicola Beer


Article Source: Feeling Lonely? 4 Steps to Leave Loneliness For Good
Previous Post Next Post
  • Opens the Door of Opportunity for a Successful Business

    It is an old saying that if a person has power to tackle the situation, then no one can beat him or her. Similarly, if the business marketing includes the power of persuasion, the no one can stop the business from stepping ahead. However, the business will only witness success if the message o... Readmore

  • The Perfect Keyword For Search

    Keywords are considered to be very important part of Search Engine Optimization. So you must choose the right keyword for your business. Just selecting any popular key won’t do any good to your business as when you choose a keyword, visitors might come but when they will not get what they w... Readmore

  • Trust Your Instincts

    I remember hearing about a book years ago from a friend. It wascalled "Talk and Grow Rich" and one of the things that was saidin there was "If an idea comes to you from your subconciousmind, then it's coming to you because you have the ability topull it off." For example, if you suddenly get the i... Readmore

  • Tips Website Design

    Web design is a procedure of conceptualization, modeling, planning, and the execution of electronic media content delivery through Internet. The objective of web design is to build or create a web site. Having a website is a huge requirement even if the business is in a small industry. Any ... Readmore

  • 10 Tips to Read More Books

    A survey carried out 15 years ago showed that almost half of Americans didn’t read a single book in 12 months. Since then, reading rates have been falling. Sometimes this happens just because we don’t have enough time, but more often it’s just lack of motivation. So, before you turn to our f... Readmore

  • The Old Shack

    Findhorn is the end of the world. At low tide, a mixed colony of grey and common seals bask and sing on the sands of the north shore. Atop a small rise, amongst the dunes and marram grass, stands The Old Shack, windowless and silent. Abandoned, lonely, a brooding sentinel it has become a rea... Readmore

  • Neograft Hair Transplant

     Neograft Hair Transplant Automated Hair Transplant SystemNeograft When you are considering your surgical hair transplant options,there are many technological innovations that you should discusswith your hair transplant surgical team. One incrediblyinnovative option is the Neograft Hair Transpl... Readmore

  • How To Get Started With Your Autoresponder

    If you’ve just started your online business or decided to get into affiliate marketing, you’ll be looking to make money. Making money on the net with your new business can be a little tricky, unless you have an autoresponder. An autoresponder is the ideal way to carry out your day to day busine... Readmore

  • Tips and Tricks Internet Marketing

    So you've decided you want to make money on the internet. You are excited and sign up for some home based business opportunity. You try some stuff hoping to make a sale but nothing works because you don't know how to get leads. Before you try anything you should study internet marketing a little ... Readmore

  • The Dad Died 2016

    I came home for a weekend pass from my military base. I found out that my had passed away. My sister, Jean explained that she talked to the County Sheriff's Office. Evidently the pot-belled stove that Dad used to heat the old house got too hot and blew up, causing a fire in the front room... Readmore