Skip to main content

3 Ways to Handle Negative Criticism

The leading up to and aftermath of negative criticism is a state so common that it's one of the most uncomfortable and relatable states to experience. It's a state of embarrassment, awkwardness, even shame, just to name a few. The effects of criticism on our egos and our feelings can be so powerful and sometimes jarring, that our whole day or worse, our whole lives are negatively impacted.

I don't know if there is a root that if pulled, would make it so that you never fear criticism and it never hurts you. If getting rid of the feelings we have when we deal with negative criticism was like getting rid of weeds in a garden, I'd be right there with you pulling up roots! Even without knowing the specific reasons we feel hurt by negative criticism, we can still find ways to deal with it. Our reasons are unique to our individual experiences, of course. But I suspect that a big reason we respond adversely to negative criticism is because each of us has a protected well of positive characteristics. And when that well is taken from, we feel that loss.

It's why you can be afraid to mention something in a meeting or be afraid to perform at your best. It's why it hurts when someone insults you or doesn't approve of something that you do. For instance, you may have a thought that boosts your self esteem and that positive thinking, unconsciously goes into your well of strengths. Over time, these thoughts can accumulate along with other positive thoughts and create positive characteristics. Like being a good person or having great judgement.

But the more someone takes away from your inner well, the drier it becomes. Sometimes negative criticism not only takes away from your well, but poisons it.

That's exactly what you feel happening when you face negative criticism. If your well was not full from the start or it does not replenish itself, each new criticism leaves you feeling depleted or drained and sometimes muddied. That well within is so precious because it holds our confidence, our self image, and what we believe to be true of our world. Our inner well, that provides us with the energy we need to stay positive in life, is a wonderful and vital source and could be better guarded.

Those who do guard that source of inner energy and self replenish, handle negative criticism gracefully. But not all of us know that no one can truly take away from us what is in our hearts, minds and souls.

I want to share with you my 3 Ways to Handle Negative Criticism.

These three ways can help if it's someone intentionally attempting to put you down or even it if it's just a fear of what others may say or think of you. These ways definitely aren't the only ways to handle negative criticism. But for me, they're the most calming ways that require the least effort.

The Map is Not the Territory-

This phrase is the standard principle in NLP. As a practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming, I've found this to be a really comforting notion. NLP is all about how the language you use with yourself, along with your senses and perceptions, can affect how you experience life. The map is not the territory means that your view of the world is not reality, it's your perception of reality. Your map is how you see your life and your journey within it. And the same is true for everyone. One person's map may have a clear indication of mountains on the path, but your map may show the obstacle with many paths to go around it... Each person's life experience is different depending on their map, although we share the same world.

So, if someone is negatively criticizing you, they are sharing their map and how they see it. But how they see it, does not make it your reality; your truth. Our maps can overlap, meaning we may see something similarly. But just because others have different signs on their maps which cause them to see and say something negatively critical, doesn't mean that you have to share that map. This is especially true if it takes you to a state you'd rather not be in. They're reality does not have to be yours if it doesn't help lift you up.

Learn from it-

If you've just experienced a heavy dose of negative criticism, you're probably feeling a bit wounded. Maybe it was shocking, left you speechless or it just sucked! What do you do with those feelings now?

Learn from what happened! Ask yourself, what could you have done differently? Ask yourself, did I learn something about who they are or who I am? Review what happened or is potentially about to happen and take what lessons you can. Then firmly put it away. Simply allow yourself to be curious about its positive lessons.

Love and approve of your self-

When we face negative criticism or are afraid of it, the well we drew from for positivity and strength, seem vulnerable. But when you give your self extra love during these times, you can feel confident to know that you can refill and restore that positive inner energy.

It is possible! And you do have the power to remind yourself of your best qualities.

Remind yourself that you're doing your best and that's a good thing. Remind your self that the only words that really matter are the words you say to yourself. So make them loving! Go ahead, tell yourself, "I love you no matter what anyone says!"

What does your spirit, your inner wisdom, your highest self say about this? Close your eyes, get quiet and listen...

*Bonus Insight* To be perfectly honest, there is one more amazingly helpful way to handle negative criticism... Find support and have a good cry! Reach out to your truest friends, your most comforting family members, or find support with Me One on One at http://www.Simplystepping.com

If negative self talk and seeking approval is holding you back or getting you down, reach out for compassionate guidance at http://www.simplystepping.com/one-on-one-supportive-sessions/ or CALL 646-858-0378 Very reasonable price for direct personalized help.


 By Melissa G


Article Source: 3 Ways to Handle Negative Criticism

Popular posts from this blog

Kecemburuan semacam ini

Jacey melemparkan cangkir kopi kaca, (Mug Kaca Berinsulasi Dinding Ganda Zwilling), melintasi dapur. Itu menghantam dinding yang baru dicat (Behr, Sweet Coconut Milk, M230), dan hancur menjadi triliunan kepingan. "Inilah yang telah kamu lakukan pada kami!" teriaknya, suaranya berderak karena cemburu, kuku jarinya yang terawat (Orly Cold As Ice - perawatan bernapas + warna) menusuk udara ke arah tumpukan puing-puing kaca. Blayne menundukkan kepalanya, dagu keduanya mengenai dadanya terlebih dahulu. "Maaf, sayang," gumamnya. "Maaf?! Maaf!" Dia mengambil sekotak Wheat Thins dan mengangkatnya di atas kepalanya. "Tolong jangan melempar yang lain!" Blayne memohon, berdiri dari posisi setengah duduk di bangku logam di dapur. Ini adalah bangku yang sangat tidak nyaman (Bangku Meja Grejsi dengan Bingkai Logam), tetapi Jacey menyukai cara logam itu memantulkan sinar matahari di sore hari, jadi itulah yang dia beli. Dia mencondongkan tubuh ke arahnya,...

Thirteenth step

My grandmother attends the church basement on Tuesday evenings. I saw him there among the metal folding chairs and antique coffee pots, his figure trembling under the fluorescent lights that buzzed like dying insects. She wears the same powder blue pullover she was buried in, the one with pearl buttons that catch the light like little moons. Others can't see it, of course. They just feel a sudden chill as they pass by where she is, or smell the ghostly smell of her Shalimar perfume mixing with the smell of burnt coffee that never leaves these rooms. But I see clearly. He's been following me to AA meetings for three months since I got my first white chip after five years of being back in the bottle. "Your grandmother was my godmother in 1985," old Pete told me after tonight's meeting, hands shaking as he poured a seven-pack of Sweet'n Low into his coffee. "Toughest godmother I ever had. She saved my life." "Mine, too," I said, not specif...

A-Z of Corporate Governance Law

Corporate governance law can be seen as the law that states the way a company is regulated and managed. Any student of law must have a clear idea about the corporate governance law. This article provides an insight into the law, along with its importance. Corporate governance law  describes how a company will be managed and governed. This topic is an important one for any student pursuing a degree in law. They may also receive academic papers to write on it. Hence, individuals should be clear about this law. The article aims at clarifying the idea behind the law and why it is important. What exactly is corporate governance law? A business is directed and controlled by the system of corporate governance. It is a process for governing a company, establishing the policies, customs, and laws for all employees, starting from the highest to the lowest levels. It states the distribution of responsibilities and rights among the various participants in a company like the di...