Our day-to-day living these days is all guided by an overwhelming sense of security. We are taught not to rock the boat, don't take risks and to not be too brave. Stay safe, fly under the radar and don't draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
All well and good, coupled with good intentions. However, as the old adage states, 'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions'.
Very often we find ourselves reacting to things that are not within our control. We settle for the 'lesser' things, things that we have not decided for ourselves.
Stability in your day job instead of realizing your own goals. Staying in a relationship with someone because it's 'comfortable' even though it's killing you slowly. I could go on forever with examples.
The bottom line with all this is that you are hoping and praying that your life gets pulled in the direction that you want it to go. Like flotsam, you're just being pulled, pushed and dragged around.
The ability to look at the fear behind all these decisions, to stare it right in the eye and say NO, is what will set you on the course to discovery. A wonderful journey where security may not be there and that's OK. This is all a part of the process of life. Your Life.
Fear of being alone, humiliation, going broke, public speaking or physical discomfort. Fear of regret and even the fear of success.
Are any of these holding you back?
Worse still, have you actually started rationalizing your behavior on some these? It would be rude, you don't have anything to say or you're not supposed to do that at this point?
Sometimes we find ourselves rationalizing our actions based on what we've been taught to believe. What if we didn't rationalize them? What if you weren't afraid of them?
There's plenty of definitions and statements about courage, amongst these is one of my favorites from Mark Twain - 'Courage is resistance to fear, master of fear - not the absence of fear'.
In a nutshell, the fear will always be there. Courage is defined as being able to master those fears.
One of the paths to this mastery lies in simply learning to act in spite of the fear. Learn to control your emotions when it comes to these fears, look them in the eye and still do what you need to do!
When we let ourselves be moved by the fears and we hide ourselves from them, our brains actually send out signals as a reward. What eventually happens is that we get 'comfortable' with these fears and begin to rationalize them in our world. You settle down. Don't take risks and are constantly waiting for some external force to move you in your life.
The years go by and you start looking back. That little inner voice hasn't gone away even though you haven't really paid attention to it. This isn't how life was supposed to be. You wanted to travel the world, enjoy new experiences, and be a lot wealthier and healthier. In short, you wanted to live a much happier life. That life that was so full of promise. All wasted because you were afraid.
Your goals, dreams and inspirations - the very stuff that made you, YOU - all fell by the way side whilst you talked yourself into being safe.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Listen to Your Inner Voice
Step 1:
Here comes the part where courage comes into play. The first step in breaking the cycle above is to become courageous. I'm not talking about becoming a pirate or the sort of courage that a firefighter would have in fighting fires. This first courageous step is to listen to yourself. Not as easy as it might sound. Find a secluded spot where you can be alone and not interrupted for a while.
Stop thinking about any outside influences and just listen to the inner voice and what it's telling you. Don't rationalize or argue the points, just make note of what it is telling you. This may be harder to hear than anything else you have heard in your life. I guarantee you that it will be telling you things and pointing things out that you do not want to hear about and have rationalized every single action regarding them.
These things that the voice is saying may include very harsh realities like your marriage is a sham, you need to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking or get out of your current job. Things that you will have rationalized in your day-to-day life. There's not enough time to go to the gym, I'm addicted to sugar, nicotine or alcohol or I have to support my family and need this stable job.
Don't argue or rationalize things at this point. Note them down. This is your own inner voice, your subconscious practically screaming at you what you actually want out of life. Quit, leave, exercise, move on, dance, write or forgive.
Step 2:
In comes courageous step number 2. Acknowledge that this is actually what you want for yourself.
Don't worry about the 'how' of it. At this point it's enough to realize that this is actually how you want your life to be. Admit that you want to be a non-smoker, non-drinker, a writer, poet, artist or accountant. This process is termed - Moving out of Denial. Admit this is what you want.
Step 3:
Now that we have actually listed out and acknowledged what our fears actually are, what can we do about it?
In comes the action part. My personal favorite for this part is to break down those fears into manageable pieces - smaller fears. Afraid of meeting new people, talking to strangers or asking someone out on a date? Break it down into more easily handled parts and slowly work your way through the list. This might be a process like the following:
Smile at someone new each day until you can do this without effort.
Smile at 5 new people every day.
Say hello to someone that you find physically attractive but don't actually know.
Gradually move to 5 new people to say hello to every day.
...
...
...
...
...
Ask that 'certain someone' out on a date, regardless of who they are surrounded by or who I am surrounded by.
Taking action in a gradually increasing fear list will become easier as time goes. It's like training your brain or a muscle. The more you face those fears and take action to overcome them, the easier it becomes.
The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
- John Lancaster Spalding
Where is all this leading us?
The reality of this life is that it is yours and yours alone. It is up to you whether you will live your life reacting to others plans and agenda or whether you take the courageous step of unleashing the real you into the world. The benefits far outweigh any negatives. You get to be who you truly are which will lead to a far happier life for yourself and in turn for every other person that you meet along life's journey. You will be one of those people that others actually envy for the joy that you have in your life and it all starts with knowing who you truly are and what you truly want and then facing the fears associated with getting it. The only thing stopping you is a fear of your own making and if you made it, you can unmake it! What you do with your life, your purpose for living is an intrinsic thing. This cannot be left up to anyone else, not your parents, boss or spouse. You control the outcome and only you control where the ship is heading.
There will be times when you fall down and start slipping back into the 'comfort zone'. As long as you can take stock and acknowledge that this isn't who you are and you then make a conscious effort to get back to being you, acknowledging the fears and overcoming them, you will always be on the right track.
Fears are of your own making. Take their power away from them and move into your true purpose with your head held high.
It will be difficult at times to live with your choice. Deep down inside you know that it's the right thing to do. Don't allow yourself to crumble before the illusory 'safety of life' that others are saying you should be living. You know that it's actually not living but rather just an existence. Follow your heart beyond the fears, that's where your happiness and paradise await.
Live Life!
My crazy world has included successfully combining all the skills of a artist, photographer, designer, programmer, and marketer into one crazy life.
I'm available for guest blogging, article writing and speaking events.
~ Frank
Tazz 1 Pty Ltd
Follow me in my crazy world via my site
or Insta!
By Frank Perez
Article Source: The Spirit Within - Overcoming Your Fears
All well and good, coupled with good intentions. However, as the old adage states, 'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions'.
Very often we find ourselves reacting to things that are not within our control. We settle for the 'lesser' things, things that we have not decided for ourselves.
Stability in your day job instead of realizing your own goals. Staying in a relationship with someone because it's 'comfortable' even though it's killing you slowly. I could go on forever with examples.
The bottom line with all this is that you are hoping and praying that your life gets pulled in the direction that you want it to go. Like flotsam, you're just being pulled, pushed and dragged around.
The ability to look at the fear behind all these decisions, to stare it right in the eye and say NO, is what will set you on the course to discovery. A wonderful journey where security may not be there and that's OK. This is all a part of the process of life. Your Life.
Fear of being alone, humiliation, going broke, public speaking or physical discomfort. Fear of regret and even the fear of success.
Are any of these holding you back?
Worse still, have you actually started rationalizing your behavior on some these? It would be rude, you don't have anything to say or you're not supposed to do that at this point?
Sometimes we find ourselves rationalizing our actions based on what we've been taught to believe. What if we didn't rationalize them? What if you weren't afraid of them?
There's plenty of definitions and statements about courage, amongst these is one of my favorites from Mark Twain - 'Courage is resistance to fear, master of fear - not the absence of fear'.
In a nutshell, the fear will always be there. Courage is defined as being able to master those fears.
One of the paths to this mastery lies in simply learning to act in spite of the fear. Learn to control your emotions when it comes to these fears, look them in the eye and still do what you need to do!
When we let ourselves be moved by the fears and we hide ourselves from them, our brains actually send out signals as a reward. What eventually happens is that we get 'comfortable' with these fears and begin to rationalize them in our world. You settle down. Don't take risks and are constantly waiting for some external force to move you in your life.
The years go by and you start looking back. That little inner voice hasn't gone away even though you haven't really paid attention to it. This isn't how life was supposed to be. You wanted to travel the world, enjoy new experiences, and be a lot wealthier and healthier. In short, you wanted to live a much happier life. That life that was so full of promise. All wasted because you were afraid.
Your goals, dreams and inspirations - the very stuff that made you, YOU - all fell by the way side whilst you talked yourself into being safe.
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Listen to Your Inner Voice
Step 1:
Here comes the part where courage comes into play. The first step in breaking the cycle above is to become courageous. I'm not talking about becoming a pirate or the sort of courage that a firefighter would have in fighting fires. This first courageous step is to listen to yourself. Not as easy as it might sound. Find a secluded spot where you can be alone and not interrupted for a while.
Stop thinking about any outside influences and just listen to the inner voice and what it's telling you. Don't rationalize or argue the points, just make note of what it is telling you. This may be harder to hear than anything else you have heard in your life. I guarantee you that it will be telling you things and pointing things out that you do not want to hear about and have rationalized every single action regarding them.
These things that the voice is saying may include very harsh realities like your marriage is a sham, you need to lose weight, stop smoking, stop drinking or get out of your current job. Things that you will have rationalized in your day-to-day life. There's not enough time to go to the gym, I'm addicted to sugar, nicotine or alcohol or I have to support my family and need this stable job.
Don't argue or rationalize things at this point. Note them down. This is your own inner voice, your subconscious practically screaming at you what you actually want out of life. Quit, leave, exercise, move on, dance, write or forgive.
Step 2:
In comes courageous step number 2. Acknowledge that this is actually what you want for yourself.
Don't worry about the 'how' of it. At this point it's enough to realize that this is actually how you want your life to be. Admit that you want to be a non-smoker, non-drinker, a writer, poet, artist or accountant. This process is termed - Moving out of Denial. Admit this is what you want.
Step 3:
Now that we have actually listed out and acknowledged what our fears actually are, what can we do about it?
In comes the action part. My personal favorite for this part is to break down those fears into manageable pieces - smaller fears. Afraid of meeting new people, talking to strangers or asking someone out on a date? Break it down into more easily handled parts and slowly work your way through the list. This might be a process like the following:
Smile at someone new each day until you can do this without effort.
Smile at 5 new people every day.
Say hello to someone that you find physically attractive but don't actually know.
Gradually move to 5 new people to say hello to every day.
...
...
...
...
...
Ask that 'certain someone' out on a date, regardless of who they are surrounded by or who I am surrounded by.
Taking action in a gradually increasing fear list will become easier as time goes. It's like training your brain or a muscle. The more you face those fears and take action to overcome them, the easier it becomes.
The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
- John Lancaster Spalding
Where is all this leading us?
The reality of this life is that it is yours and yours alone. It is up to you whether you will live your life reacting to others plans and agenda or whether you take the courageous step of unleashing the real you into the world. The benefits far outweigh any negatives. You get to be who you truly are which will lead to a far happier life for yourself and in turn for every other person that you meet along life's journey. You will be one of those people that others actually envy for the joy that you have in your life and it all starts with knowing who you truly are and what you truly want and then facing the fears associated with getting it. The only thing stopping you is a fear of your own making and if you made it, you can unmake it! What you do with your life, your purpose for living is an intrinsic thing. This cannot be left up to anyone else, not your parents, boss or spouse. You control the outcome and only you control where the ship is heading.
There will be times when you fall down and start slipping back into the 'comfort zone'. As long as you can take stock and acknowledge that this isn't who you are and you then make a conscious effort to get back to being you, acknowledging the fears and overcoming them, you will always be on the right track.
Fears are of your own making. Take their power away from them and move into your true purpose with your head held high.
It will be difficult at times to live with your choice. Deep down inside you know that it's the right thing to do. Don't allow yourself to crumble before the illusory 'safety of life' that others are saying you should be living. You know that it's actually not living but rather just an existence. Follow your heart beyond the fears, that's where your happiness and paradise await.
Live Life!
My crazy world has included successfully combining all the skills of a artist, photographer, designer, programmer, and marketer into one crazy life.
I'm available for guest blogging, article writing and speaking events.
~ Frank
Tazz 1 Pty Ltd
Follow me in my crazy world via my site
or Insta!
By Frank Perez
Article Source: The Spirit Within - Overcoming Your Fears