Do You Have The Courage to Love Yourself?

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." ~ Ambrose Bierce

I find it sad that it takes courage to love ourselves. But the truth is that our culture has come so far from our natural way of being - which is to love ourselves - that now it does take courage, a lot of courage.

Why? Because many of us have been programmed to believe that being 'selfless' is being good, and that being loving to ourselves is selfish. We've been programmed to believe that if we ignore our own feelings and needs and attend to the feelings and needs of others, then we will be seen as good and we will be loved.

There is so much backward thinking in these statements that I hardly know where to begin to untangle it.

Loving yourself - loving the spark of the Divine within you, your soul that is created in the image of God-that-is-love - is like loving a beloved child. It's about cherishing your intrinsic gifts and sharing them with those you love. When you are truly loving yourself, you would never be selfish because it's very unloving to yourself to be selfish - i.e. to not care about the effect your behavior has on others, to ignore others' feelings and needs, and to expect others to give themselves up for you. Loving yourself is what fills you with love to share with others.

Selflessness is actually the opposite of knowing who you are - knowing the beauty and greatness of your soul essence. Anyone who has been selfless knows that it eventually leads to feeling depleted and depressed, because when you are giving to others without also loving yourself, you end up feeling empty inside. When you give to get love, others generally receive without giving back.

If this is what you've been doing, it takes great courage to focus on loving yourself and letting go of caretaking others to get love. Those to whom you've been giving, in order to get their attention and approval, may become angry at you for what they perceive as you abandoning them. They liked your caretaking and they may not even know how to be with you in supporting your own and others' highest good. So it takes great courage to weather their wrath and perhaps even lose them.

It can be so scary to do this, that only when loving yourself becomes more important to you than your fear of rejection, will you open to learning about what is in your highest good.

This is where I was 32 years ago when Spirit brought us our inner work healing process. I was quite ill and knew that if I continued to abandon myself, I would die. I was terrified of losing those I loved, but even more terrified to get sicker. My desire to be healthy, alive, and manifesting my gifts gave me the courage to begin learning to love myself.

If you are anxious, depressed and lonely, and you have been selfless rather than self-loving, you might consider that being selfless - i.e. abandoning yourself to get love and approval - isn't working. It's now well known that Mother Teresa, the saint of selflessness, was deeply depressed most of her life and sought therapeutic help over and over for her depression. Unfortunately, at that time, none of the therapists understand that the source of her depression was that she was abandoning herself. She didn't abandon herself to get others' love and approval. She abandoned herself because she believed that this is what being loving to others meant, but it left her inner child alone and depressed within.

I hope you let go of your old concepts of selflessness and selfishness and have the courage to learn to love yourself, fill yourself with love, and share your beautiful intrinsic gifts with others.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding� healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.




 By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


Article Source: Do You Have The Courage to Love Yourself?

Post a Comment

Informations From: Taun17

Previous Post Next Post
  • Piknik Malam

    oleh Ashly Callaway Adik Nora Seminggu sekali, Nora pergi piknik malam. Dia berjalan-jalan di lingkungan kami pada malam-malam sebelum penjemputan daur ulang dan mengatakan Anda dapat menceritakan banyak hal tentang sebuah keluarga dengan apa yang mereka konsumsi. Dengan kaki telanjang, dia membung... Readmore

  • Surat yang Tidak Terkirim

    November 19, 2023 Ibu Oh, betapa aku merindukanmu, Ibu! Setiap hari yang berlalu sejak Anda pergi telah menciptakan kekosongan yang terlalu dalam untuk diisi. Saya telah dikuasai oleh rasa kesepian dan, terlebih lagi, oleh penyesalan. Setiap malam, saya mencoba menghidupkan kembali momen-momen yang... Readmore

  • Kekacauan yang terbentang

    Dia menyajikan tehnya, dengan lembut menuangkan konten yang sangat harum dan sangat panas. Kedua pria itu duduk di meja kecil bulat mereka yang biasa, jari-jari mereka melilit cangkir kayu yang cacat. Cahaya merah halus dari matahari terbenam oranye cocok dengan percikan merah dan lengket di sekita... Readmore

  • Kecemburuan semacam ini

    Jacey melemparkan cangkir kopi kaca, (Mug Kaca Berinsulasi Dinding Ganda Zwilling), melintasi dapur. Itu menghantam dinding yang baru dicat (Behr, Sweet Coconut Milk, M230), dan hancur menjadi triliunan kepingan. "Inilah yang telah kamu lakukan pada kami!" teriaknya, suaranya berderak karena cembur... Readmore

  • A Dark Horse - Part 4

    Jenny couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she did see Mr. Thompson gesture toward her. Soon after, they were gone. Jenny continued her session with Trey. When they were finished, she passed Kip in the barn aisle looking a bit miffed. “Happy now? It’s all your fault!” He scowled at her as he hi... Readmore

  • Penanaman

    Phil dan Bob telah berteman baik di sekolah menengah. Phil menikahi saudara perempuan Bob. Kedua pria itu tumbuh dengan tiga anak. Phil pindah ke Texas dan bekerja untuk sebuah perusahaan minyak setelah dia melakukan tugasnya di Angkatan Darat. Bob kuliah, lalu masuk ke Angkatan Darat selama dua ta... Readmore

  • Check-in, Take Two

          The dim lighting and drab furniture in the hotel’s lobby did nothing to brighten Peter Janowick’s mood. It was his first time in Louisville, and he had arrived on a late flight, packed with passengers.            Peter... Readmore

  • Nightmares

    My heart was pounding and sweat burned my eyes. There were 5 minutes left, and I had five questions left. This was not your typical multiple-choice exam, Each question required at least two paragraphs of analysis. I couldn’t possibly complete five analyses in five minutes. My chance of getting an ’A... Readmore

  • Who Created and Founded Ethereum?

    Ethereum, one of the most influential and widely adopted blockchain platforms in the world, has revolutionized the way we think about decentralized technology. But who is behind this groundbreaking innovation? The story of Ethereum is as fascinating as the technology itself, involvin... Readmore

  • The Impact of Stress on Your Oral Health

    Stress is a natural reaction to pressure, and everyone experiences varying levels. In today’s fast-paced world, stress levels have surged, fueled by demanding work environments, academic pressures, travel, and financial burdens. It's everywhere, and its effects on the body are far-reaching. What man... Readmore