Skip to main content

Do You Have The Courage to Love Yourself?

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." ~ Ambrose Bierce

I find it sad that it takes courage to love ourselves. But the truth is that our culture has come so far from our natural way of being - which is to love ourselves - that now it does take courage, a lot of courage.

Why? Because many of us have been programmed to believe that being 'selfless' is being good, and that being loving to ourselves is selfish. We've been programmed to believe that if we ignore our own feelings and needs and attend to the feelings and needs of others, then we will be seen as good and we will be loved.

There is so much backward thinking in these statements that I hardly know where to begin to untangle it.

Loving yourself - loving the spark of the Divine within you, your soul that is created in the image of God-that-is-love - is like loving a beloved child. It's about cherishing your intrinsic gifts and sharing them with those you love. When you are truly loving yourself, you would never be selfish because it's very unloving to yourself to be selfish - i.e. to not care about the effect your behavior has on others, to ignore others' feelings and needs, and to expect others to give themselves up for you. Loving yourself is what fills you with love to share with others.

Selflessness is actually the opposite of knowing who you are - knowing the beauty and greatness of your soul essence. Anyone who has been selfless knows that it eventually leads to feeling depleted and depressed, because when you are giving to others without also loving yourself, you end up feeling empty inside. When you give to get love, others generally receive without giving back.

If this is what you've been doing, it takes great courage to focus on loving yourself and letting go of caretaking others to get love. Those to whom you've been giving, in order to get their attention and approval, may become angry at you for what they perceive as you abandoning them. They liked your caretaking and they may not even know how to be with you in supporting your own and others' highest good. So it takes great courage to weather their wrath and perhaps even lose them.

It can be so scary to do this, that only when loving yourself becomes more important to you than your fear of rejection, will you open to learning about what is in your highest good.

This is where I was 32 years ago when Spirit brought us our inner work healing process. I was quite ill and knew that if I continued to abandon myself, I would die. I was terrified of losing those I loved, but even more terrified to get sicker. My desire to be healthy, alive, and manifesting my gifts gave me the courage to begin learning to love myself.

If you are anxious, depressed and lonely, and you have been selfless rather than self-loving, you might consider that being selfless - i.e. abandoning yourself to get love and approval - isn't working. It's now well known that Mother Teresa, the saint of selflessness, was deeply depressed most of her life and sought therapeutic help over and over for her depression. Unfortunately, at that time, none of the therapists understand that the source of her depression was that she was abandoning herself. She didn't abandon herself to get others' love and approval. She abandoned herself because she believed that this is what being loving to others meant, but it left her inner child alone and depressed within.

I hope you let go of your old concepts of selflessness and selfishness and have the courage to learn to love yourself, fill yourself with love, and share your beautiful intrinsic gifts with others.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bondingïżœ healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.




 By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.


Article Source: Do You Have The Courage to Love Yourself?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Kecemburuan semacam ini

Jacey melemparkan cangkir kopi kaca, (Mug Kaca Berinsulasi Dinding Ganda Zwilling), melintasi dapur. Itu menghantam dinding yang baru dicat (Behr, Sweet Coconut Milk, M230), dan hancur menjadi triliunan kepingan. "Inilah yang telah kamu lakukan pada kami!" teriaknya, suaranya berderak karena cemburu, kuku jarinya yang terawat (Orly Cold As Ice - perawatan bernapas + warna) menusuk udara ke arah tumpukan puing-puing kaca. Blayne menundukkan kepalanya, dagu keduanya mengenai dadanya terlebih dahulu. "Maaf, sayang," gumamnya. "Maaf?! Maaf!" Dia mengambil sekotak Wheat Thins dan mengangkatnya di atas kepalanya. "Tolong jangan melempar yang lain!" Blayne memohon, berdiri dari posisi setengah duduk di bangku logam di dapur. Ini adalah bangku yang sangat tidak nyaman (Bangku Meja Grejsi dengan Bingkai Logam), tetapi Jacey menyukai cara logam itu memantulkan sinar matahari di sore hari, jadi itulah yang dia beli. Dia mencondongkan tubuh ke arahnya,...

Thirteenth step

My grandmother attends the church basement on Tuesday evenings. I saw him there among the metal folding chairs and antique coffee pots, his figure trembling under the fluorescent lights that buzzed like dying insects. She wears the same powder blue pullover she was buried in, the one with pearl buttons that catch the light like little moons. Others can't see it, of course. They just feel a sudden chill as they pass by where she is, or smell the ghostly smell of her Shalimar perfume mixing with the smell of burnt coffee that never leaves these rooms. But I see clearly. He's been following me to AA meetings for three months since I got my first white chip after five years of being back in the bottle. "Your grandmother was my godmother in 1985," old Pete told me after tonight's meeting, hands shaking as he poured a seven-pack of Sweet'n Low into his coffee. "Toughest godmother I ever had. She saved my life." "Mine, too," I said, not specif...

A-Z of Corporate Governance Law

Corporate governance law can be seen as the law that states the way a company is regulated and managed. Any student of law must have a clear idea about the corporate governance law. This article provides an insight into the law, along with its importance. Corporate governance law  describes how a company will be managed and governed. This topic is an important one for any student pursuing a degree in law. They may also receive academic papers to write on it. Hence, individuals should be clear about this law. The article aims at clarifying the idea behind the law and why it is important. What exactly is corporate governance law? A business is directed and controlled by the system of corporate governance. It is a process for governing a company, establishing the policies, customs, and laws for all employees, starting from the highest to the lowest levels. It states the distribution of responsibilities and rights among the various participants in a company like the di...