Discipline or Rigidity? 4 Tips Help You Sort It Out

Planning is your key to finding time to get everything done. Indeed, if you don't plan, you'll find yourself at sea. And surrounding you will be a floating array of tasks, priorities, and dreams. They'll look random and chaotic, bobbing on the ocean swells.

So, if planning is your key, how do you do it?

Focus and Flexibility
Well, for starters, planning requires both focus and flexibility. I emphasize flexibility because so often, when we develop plans, our attitude is that we need to stick to them no matter what. But that's actually not true. Life just doesn't lend itself to that.

There's a world of difference between disciplined follow-through and rigidity. Think about how you feel when met by someone else's rigid response to a change. Do sparks fly? Do you seethe inside? Do you feel responded to or rebuffed?

Plans and Priorities
That's what happens when your PLAN becomes your priority... rather than whatever your priority actually was about to begin with. When you're moving toward rigidity, you are becoming so committed to your PLAN that you let other parts of your life suffer. Relationships can be the first casualty.

So how do you learn to tell the difference between when you're being focused-but-flexible and when you're being rigid in your daily living?

Telling the Difference
Use Your Judgment: Follow-through builds trust and is very important. However, follow-through "no matter what" means that you are not really taking responsibility for exercising judgment and making adult choices. Circumstances sometimes DO interfere with our plans. That is a reality of human life.

So, being realistic about your planning and factoring in some flex time can leave space for the unexpected and can actually PROTECT the flow of your day!

Pay Attention to Feelings: When you are feeling rigid, view it as a red flag. It's telling you that you are trying to focus but have lost your balance. This can happen to anyone! When you notice this happening, take a deep breath and step back. Ask yourself...


"What are my central commitments?"
"How can I adjust to what is happening in this moment?"
"Is there anything I can let go of right now?"


Maybe you will shift things around; and maybe you won't. The important thing is to check in with yourself and own your choice. The red flag helps you pause and readjust your perspective.

Build Skills: Focus and flexibility are skills you build, and as you do this skill-building, you'll find that self-reference is one of your best allies. Keep checking in with yourself to find your balance. You'll feel more and more comfortable and agile, as you navigate your day by flexing here, and holding firm there.

Reflect on Results: Don't do this with a critical eye, but with friendly objectivity. This allows you to build on your experience and deepen your trust in yourself and your judgment.

Do you find it easy to feel balanced when it comes to focus and flexibility? Or do you fall back on rigidity to maintain your boundaries and get things done? Ready to try something different? I'd love to hear your experiences with this whole area... and what you think!

Let's explore time together...

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 By Paula Eder


Article Source: Discipline or Rigidity? 4 Tips Help You Sort It Out