The irksome Presidential election is finally over, so Americans should be relieved to get back to normal. Unfortunately, another long annoyance is upon us now, the annual pains that come along with Christmas.
I am not referring to the task of shopping in crowded stores, nor the chore of wrapping gifts, nor the inevitable broadcast of Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life or the non stop airing of Darren McGavin in A Christmas Story on cable channel TBS. Every one of those nuisances can be avoided with the Internet, gift bags from the local department store, and a TV remote.
What cannot be avoided at this time of the year, however, are the nearly half dozen annoyances that follow.
1. Unavoidable is the colleague or fellow citizen who insists on wearing her Christmas sweaters, usually in some combination of red and or green with a gaudy, tacky symbol on the front.
2. Too many self-righteous church goers will spend the month lamenting that the bagger at the local grocery store wished them "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or complaining about how the abbreviation "X-mas" sinfully takes Christ out of the holiday.
3. Unthoughtful folks will force us against our will to look at those irritating fake reindeer antlers sprouting on their cars, or worse yet, on their heads.
4. As early as the day after Halloween smiling local TV weather analysts will start predicting the odds for a white Christmas, as if people who cannot even give us an accurate forecast for tomorrow can somehow tell what kind of and how much precipitation will fall a full seven weeks from now.
5. Someone at the office or in the barber shop or grocery store will reminisce about how much better the season was back in the day, regurgitating the stale old comment about how businesses have commercialized Christmas and taken out the true spirit of the holiday.
I consider myself among the likes of neither Ebenezer Scrooge from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol nor the Abominable Snowman from the classic Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer film. I am simply a regular guy who is only begging for just a short break between the annoyances of a Presidential election and the irritations that come along with the Christmas season. Perhaps I might be happier spending the holidays on the Island of Misfit Toys that Rudolph visited with his elf friend who wanted to grow up to be a dentist.