A Thousand Tiny Deaths

John 12:24-25 (ESV) Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

When I share the Word of God, it is with great responsibility and heaviness. To break it apart, and somehow allow the light to shine forth is something that only God and His Holy Spirit can accomplish. I know that these words are not my own but little seeds of God to be planted in our life and harvest the fruit hidden in each one. Often when I picture seeds in my hand, I take each one and poke it into fertile soil praying it will grow. There is an important step to the growth of any seed naturally or spiritually. The seed must die to self in order to burst forth in life.

What does it mean to die to self? Sacrifice? Surrender? There is much commentary on the subject but I think it is really quite simple. It is human nature to make things complex to justify our intellect that is incapable of fully understanding God’s Thoughts and Ways. To discern His Plan and Purpose in the midst of flourishing pride and insecurity. The structure of religion has a way of making us comfortable with sound doctrine to keep us on our toes. Our relationship with Christ is that of a bride. He is our Bridegroom. Not to get too personal, but to stay on point, the bride receives seed from the bridegroom in every scenario. The heritage of marriage is children. The seed must be planted in order to produce a baby. As the bride of Christ, you and I are to receive seed from our Savior. If we do nothing with the seed, the legacy of our Lord and Savior dies with us. Jesus said, “Whoever abides in Me and I in him, he it that bears much fruit” (John 15:5) and “by this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” (John 15:8) It does appears that as Children of God and the Bride of Christ that our success is marked by the fruit born from us. Just as in marriage, the bride surrenders to her groom – so we must surrender our life to Christ.

Resurrection power and new life comes only when something dies. The sacrifice of self and true meaning of surrender will require a thousand tiny deaths. To abide in Christ is the sacrifice of my life, my way, my thoughts, my agendas, my plans and even my people in order to fully and completely yoke myself to Him. (Matthew 11:28-30) It’s funny that in this passage, the Lord invites us to “take my yoke upon you.” I immediately think of two ox plowing a field and maybe that is the image it is supposed to project. As the Lord invites us to learn from Him. Eternal life is accessed only because Christ sacrificed His Life for me. You cannot follow in Christ’s footsteps without dying to self. He did. He yoked Himself to the Father. Now I have the opportunity, as do you, to yoke our life to Jesus. He promises that His Yoke is easy and His Burden light. Well that doesn’t make any sense at all…

Luke 10:38-42 (ESV) Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

The death of self often comes at the end of ourselves. When we are worn out, overwrought and overcome by our doing without full satisfaction or fulfillment. Martha was working herself to death for Jesus. Christian service is important. Volunteers keep the church doors open and programs running. Yet, how many times do we hear of burnt out workers who though giving their supposed all for the Lord fizzle and burnout. Happens all the time. They sow their life but have no harvest to sustain them.

Jesus pointed out to an exhausted and overwhelmed Martha – “Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken from her.” I imagine Martha sighed inside thinking, “Well these people are not going to feed themselves” before dutifully heading back to the kitchen a martyr. Little did she know – Jesus wasn’t done. He would come later to once again plant seeds of life in her and make them grow this time.

John 11:17-27 (ESV) Now when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days. Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles off, and many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to console them concerning their brother. So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live,  and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.”

Martha had all the right response. She knew exactly what Jesus had said. But did she believe it? I am not so sure. She called Mary to come see Jesus. She had things to “do”. When Jesus went to the tomb, Martha got nervous. Things were about to get crazy. Lazarus had been dead four days. Martha knew the smell would be horrid and quite offensive. This was way too radical. It was time for the seed of truth in Martha’s calloused hands to penetrate her heart and produce a harvest. Resurrection life is found among the dead. Something in us must die for faith to arise and hope to be harvested in our life. Radical moves are met with trepidation because there is a wide crevice between natural occurrences and supernatural experiences. We believe in science but fumble in the Spirit. Martha was about to see that Jesus is the Resurrection and Life for this world not just eternity. She didn’t wait to have new life it was standing right beside her.

What needs to die in your life? It is not always easy to determine. Society has a delineated and well defined set of terms. To not be normal is not fashionable but I ask you what is normal anyway. We decide the norm of our life and invest our energy to maintain it. We can stay status quo tossed around by the thoughts and opinions of the world striving to fit in and somehow gain acceptance, approval and affirmation from people who are dead inside or give our life to resurrection power and life. The measure of faith inside us are seeds of opportunity either to be wasted on worldly endeavors or planted deeply in our heart to give way to a supernatural relationship with Jesus Christ and live an extraordinary life here on earth waiting for some kind of reward in Heaven. You will harvest crowns here to lay at Christ’s feet there. There is no time to waste but a thousand tiny deaths to attend to.

Each act of obedience to God’s Word, His Way and His Will is the birthplace of new life. It makes way for the promises of God to grow, develop and mature in your life. It doesn’t make life easier and in some cases much harder but the harvest of your life in Christ will always be better than you expected and more than any of us deserve. Obedience to God is death to self because it is most often contrary to our comfort, convenience and control. Trust is required. Trust cultivates faith into hope. It widen the platform of confidence in our life so that we are not so easily moved by life events but swayed easily by the Voice of God and wind of His Spirit.

I have been married for more than 20 years. In order to do so, I learned a little tip from a friend called submission. I was so offended when she suggested it as a response to his ridiculous behavior. I remember gasping for breath at her audacity. I couldn’t imagine that God wanted me to be my husband’s doormat all my life. “Well, what about him?” I asked my mentor. She said, “Leave the results to God.” In submission, that is exactly what we do – entrust the Lord with our outcomes rather than relying on self. I tried it and am proud to say that I have died a thousand tiny deaths and have experienced more joy in my marriage than I ever thought possible. I am not my husband’s servant but have fully given God my marriage by surrendering my life to be one with my husband. It was my choice. God has honored it and we are happily married today despite disagreements, disease, disappointments and all life’s challenges. We made it because Christ is the foundation of our life and our obedience to Him has blessed our marriage.

The Lord is inviting us to die a tiny death today. You know what the name on the gravestone is for your own life as do I. Picture it as a seed in your hand – ask the Lord to carefully and lovingly take it wrapped in faith and press it deep in the recesses of your heart – be obedient – give it time – let the Lord bring forth new life. Trust Him. Martha stop working so hard and worrying all the time. Sit at His Feet in prayer, worship and even silence waiting for His Whisper – it will come. Feel His Presence. It is peace that is beyond our understanding. It is joy that wells up and overflows even on the darkest day. It springs forth in the valleys of life. It is inexpressible but there just the same. Optimism will give way to hope which is concrete and undeniable. It is in these a thousand tiny deaths that resurrection life on this earth is finally experienced long before eternity. It is His Will for your life!

2 Corinthians 5:14-17 (ESV)  For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.