By Rosemarie Sumalinog Gonzales
Generosity is about giving freely and out of love. Sometimes we are abused because of this trait but what's important is we treat others with respect and kindness. This is all that matters!
However, if there is one thing that I would like to change in my life - it's my overly generous. My generosity is not just confine to my family but is also extended to other people who needs my help. I am highly sensitive. People don't have to tell me their problems, I can immediately sense them. There and then, I will offer my help without being asked.
Give because you want to give, not because you're expecting others to change their behavior. I always support my sister even if she is ungrateful to me. I want to help her become a better person but I end up frustrated because she doesn't know how to appreciate the people who are always there for her no matter what happens - her family. The problem of being too generous with money is that others can become too dependent on you.
More often than not, I ask myself, what's the point of supporting her if she cannot stand with her own two feet. She is only becoming a parasite instead of turning into a productive individual who has a self-respect. I want her to have a good life but she is not helping herself to become one. Sometimes I am really fed up by all her complaints about life especially when it comes to money matters without doing anything to realize what her heart desires. She just wants to ask for financial assistance from her family.
Too much support from her family affects her self-sufficiency which is a problem. Not only does she suffers financially if I stop helping her, but she is also denied to reach her maximum potential.
While giving can feel good, it can also create discomfort if we're repeatedly on the giving end of the stick. Being too generous is not good especially when we are inclined to give everything we're capable of giving. We do not have to please others by putting their needs first and neglecting ours. We should not be afraid if we disappoint others sometimes.
We have to think of ourselves first. This not only apply to family members but also to friends. When we are in the habit of rescuing our friends from shame, at a certain point it becomes unbearable and unfair. Money isn't the only issue; it's your unappreciated kindness. So, why prolong the agony? Explain that you appreciate their friendship, but that you simply can't provide for them anymore.
Being overly generous can also mean freely giving your time, skills and resources. A healthy dose of volunteering is good for everyone. If you're retired and really enjoy it, there's nothing wrong with it. But for a single mom like me, it's too unfair!
Continuing to help and give under these conditions is a waste of our resources and isn't really helpful. Remember healthy helping promotes other people's growth, independence, and the development of their positive potential not to make them a weakling.